Dear sister

I had a dream you ended it
-found your way through the maze
of indecisiveness and
unjustified anger-
your first act of courage
but skating right in-line
with the introverted you
I know and fear.
Little me,
my first thoughts
weren't the whywhywhys,
no realization of the impossibility
of the terrible act to jolt me from it-
we share a face and name,
your bed was across the room from mine
you talked me into insomnia,
we laughed off hate
and ate ice cream with spoons on the kitchen floor-
but I'd die without knowing
what caused the hair in your fists
and the slamming doors.
In the dream, you took that too.